The Talk Show

The Brawl
One time I hosted a talk show with Fizzwidget and Wario. Fizzwidget began by talking about how fat he is, but wario got pissed because he thinks hes fatter and deserves more awards. Next they revealed what they like to eat. Wario screamed "GARLIC S U R P R I S E" at the top of his lungs and the crowd gasped. Then fizzwidget, smiling, said that his favorite food is himself and ate him finger in one bite. The crowd cheered and screamed "WE LOVE YOU FIZZWIDGET, FIZZWIDGET IS AMAZING HE IS THE COOLEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!" Wario got so fucking pissed off that he dived straight at fizzwidget and blew the wall down while screaming "I HATE YOU FIZZWIDGET I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH I WILL KILL YOOOOUUUUU!!!" Fizzwidget got up and said "Hey man, just a joke. Where my car?" Wario smiled and pointed to his stomach. Fizzwidget screamed "NOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE YOU ATE MY CAR YOU FUCKING ATE IT YOU RUINED MY LIIIIIIFFFEEEEE!!!!!!!" Fizzwidget tore his arm off and did a quintuple backflip in the air and performed a helm splitter on Wario with his own severed arm. Wario, stunned, fell backwards and took a massive beating from fizzwidget. Fizzwidget said "I HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON YOU SON OF A BITCH." and walked away. But Wario got up and ran at him at the speed of light, turning both him and fizzwidget into a 666 course meal. Francis then ran out of the auditorium and ate the food and exploded into guts and stomach acid, killing every living cell in the universe.

Trivia

 * “I” refers to the writer, as this story was the result of a 1st person random topic free write.
 * Helm Splitter is a reference to the in-game move of the video game Dragon’s Dogma
 * This free write’s sister episode is the “Self-Cannibalistic Talk Show”